The Word Everyone Uses—But Few Understand
Gaslighting is everywhere. In therapy sessions. On social media. In politics. In the mouths of influencers explaining why their ex was “toxic.”
But here’s the thing: most people throwing around the term gaslighting have never seen where it came from—or felt the cold weight of its original meaning.
The word didn’t come from a psychology manual. It came from a story. A stage play. A film. A woman. And a man she trusted.
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Gaslighting: Why a 1944 Film Still Holds the Truth
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The Film That Named the Wound
The term comes from Gas Light, a 1938 play by Patrick Hamilton, later adapted into George Cukor’s 1944 film Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer.
The plot is simple on the surface:
A charming husband (Boyer) methodically convinces his wife (Bergman) she is losing her mind.
He moves objects. Denies events. Dims the gaslights in their home—and insists nothing has changed.
The result? She begins to doubt her own memory, perception, and sanity.
The power of the film lies in the camera’s complicity. We, the audience, see what Paula cannot. We watch as her confidence collapses. We watch as the walls close in. We watch as the man who promised to love her orchestrates her destruction.
Why It Matters to Watch It
Gaslighting is not a disagreement. It is not a bad date. It is not someone forgetting your birthday.
Gaslighting is psychological warfare. It is sustained, deliberate, and calculated. Watching the film forces you to feel the pattern:
- Isolation – He keeps her cut off from friends and family.
- Erosion of confidence – Every doubt she has is amplified; every certainty is dismantled.
- Rewriting reality – He becomes the sole authority on truth.
That’s why I believe everyone who uses the term should watch the film. It doesn’t just explain what gaslighting is—it lets you sit inside the suffocation.
The Numbers Behind the Flickering Light
Gaslighting thrives in silence. And silence thrives in statistics we ignore.
In England and Wales alone:
- 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6–7 men will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.
- In the year to March 2024, 2.3 million adults experienced domestic abuse—most at the hands of intimate partners.
- In the year to March 2025, 1 in 8 women (around 3.2 million) endured domestic abuse, stalking, or sexual assault.
These aren’t numbers from a film. They are now.
Modern-Day Gaslighting: Different Tools, Same Tactics
In the film, Gregory uses dimming lights and moved objects. Today, abusers use:
- Phone access and deleted messages.
- GPS tracking and manipulated “proof.”
- Social media to rewrite public narratives.
One survivor described her partner deliberately moving her jewellery and later “finding” it to prove her forgetfulness. She thought she was losing her mind—until a sister quietly told her, “You’re not crazy. He’s making you think you are.”
The pattern hasn’t changed. The set dressing has.
Why Gaslighting Is a Gendered Violence
Gaslighting can happen to anyone. But historically—and still today—it is disproportionately used by men against women.
Why?
Because it relies on two conditions: trust and power imbalance.
A romantic partner.
A husband.
A boss.
A doctor dismissing symptoms as “stress.”
This is why 72% of women report being dismissed by medical professionals, with 71% describing their symptoms as being labelled “made up.” That is medical gaslighting—a different stage, same script.
The Longevity of the Practice
Patrick Hamilton wrote Gas Light in 1938. Clinicians were discussing the term by the 1960s. But the behaviour is older than both.
From Victorian husbands institutionalising wives to inheritances stolen from “unstable” widows, gaslighting has always been a tool for control.
The film doesn’t just preserve a story—it archives a tactic. One that survives. One that still strips victims of their reality.
Before You Use the Word Again
Before we dilute gaslighting into an argument-ender or meme, let’s go back to where it started.
Watch Ingrid Bergman’s eyes as the light dims.
Watch Charles Boyer’s casual, chilling denials.
Let the film remind you: gaslighting is not petty. It is not a joke. It is not a buzzword.
It is the deliberate erasure of a person’s reality—often a woman’s—by the person she should have been safest with.
References
- Cukor, G. (Director). (1944). Gaslight [Film]. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.
- Hamilton, P. (1938). Gas Light [Stage Play]. London: Smith & Elder.
- Office for National Statistics. (2024). Domestic abuse in England and Wales overview: November 2024. ONS. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/domesticabuseinenglandandwalesoverview/november2024
- Office for National Statistics. (2024). Domestic abuse prevalence and trends, England and Wales: Year ending March 2024. ONS. https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/articles/domesticabuseprevalenceandtrendsenglandandwales/yearendingmarch2024
- National Centre for Domestic Violence. (2024). Domestic abuse statistics UK. NCDV. https://www.ncdv.org.uk/domestic-abuse-statistics-uk/
- The Times. (2025). One in eight women victim of domestic abuse, stalking or sexual assault in past year. The Times. https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/one-in-eight-women-victim-of-domestic-abuse-stalking-or-sexual-assault-in-past-year-nn3ckhsmd
- Smithsonian Magazine. (2022). Gaslighting is Merriam-Webster’s word of the year. Smithsonian. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/gaslighting-merriam-webster-word-of-the-year-180981203/
- The New Yorker. (2024). So you think you’ve been gaslit? The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/04/08/so-you-think-youve-been-gaslit
- Wikipedia. (2025). Gaslight (1944 film). Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight_(1944_film)
- Wikipedia. (2025). Medical gaslighting. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_Gaslighting
- American Sociological Association. (2019). On gaslighting. American Sociological Review, 84(5). https://www.asanet.org/wp-content/uploads/attach/journals/oct19asrfeature.pdf
- Sweet, P. L. (2019). The sociology of gaslighting. American Sociological Review, 84(5), 851–875. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/26318318231225050
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